Toeanda Talks
Dear Toeanda, how do I stop hiding the weird thing? You monetize it, darling.
Measurement Report #062: Competitor, Dinner Fork
The fork conceded before the tape was fully extended.
The Loafer That Overpromised
Handsome exterior, structurally dishonest interior.
Dear Toeanda: My Family Doesn't Get It
Neither did hers. She sent a Christmas card anyway.
On The Tyranny Of Matching Socks
Conformity, she says, was never her strong toe.
Toeanda vs. The TV Remote: A Reckoning
Only one of them controls the room.
Miss Length Prelims: The Judges Weigh In
Scores were high. Humility was not scored.
Spotted: Poolside, Uninvited, Unbothered
Witnesses describe the sighting as "inevitable."
Measurement Report #063: Competitor, TV Remote
A rematch. The remote still lost.
The Sneaker That Finally Understood
Rare praise, delivered sparingly and on schedule.